The Robot Lady and the Cookie
by Inked Canvas
Summary: Itachi ordered a robot. Sasuke has to bake cookies. Sakura thinks she's just above it all. CRACK FIC


**I hope this makes you laugh because I died.**

 **I do not own this**

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"I don't understand why I need to bake cookies with you."

Those were the first words that came out of Uchiha Sasuke's mouth as he stared down on the pink-haired robot lady thing in his kitchen. Honestly, it was stupid enough for Sasuke to call the situation downright ridiculous.

A robot lady?

Pink hair?

You had to be kidding him.

"Well Sir," Came the robot's snarky reply, her too human looking green eyes narrowing at him. "It's because your brother ordered me to do so.

Of course.

Of course it had to be his beloved brother that set the whole situation up. Sasuke had thought it odd when Itachi had called him up asking if he was free to bake some cookies for him. Something about a sweet tooth craving or what not. He couldn't exactly follow his weird brother's flow of thought most of the time.

But now Sasuke saw the real reason why Itachi had called for the cookies baking situation.

It wasn't because of a sweet tooth craving.

It was because he ordered a damn robot who failed at cooking.

When the robot lady took a knife to stir the dough, Sasuke, who stood at least 4 feet away from her -it -whatever, ninja flashed his way to the robot lady to snatch the knife out of her hand.

"You don't stir the dough with a knife you idiot!"

"Um, yes you do," The robot lady reached out an arm to try to grab back the knife in Sasuke's hand. Being a full head taller than the robot lady, he had the advantage of having longer limbs as well. With that being said, he simply raised the knife up in the air to prevent her from taking it back. "Give it back!"

"No," Sasuke said, sneering at the robot lady. "You need to get out of my house and crawl back to my brother."

"CRAWL BACK?" The robot lady screeched, electrical buzzing could be heard at where her voice box should be. "What do you think I am? A WORM?"

A worm was a living being, Sasuke easily concluded, which was far more superior than to a being that was not living.

This robot lady ran on fuel, which classified her as a non-living thing.

So no, a worm was a strong word in the robot lady's case. It should be something else, like... like A ROBOT.

"Just shut up and go back to Itachi," Sasuke told her, as he tried to push her out of the kitchen and hopefully into his living room and out the door.

But unfortunately for him, the robot lady had other ideas as the robot lady started shrieking, drilling its (her?) feet into the floor. Literally drilling.

Sasuke watched in absolute horror as the drill bit sank lower into his wooden floor, wooden derbis flying past the robot lady's feet and landing onto his. There were only a few times in his life when Sasuke was too stunned to speak, and one of them was when Naruto kissed him on the lips in school. And now... now was another horrifying moment he could add to his 'too-stunned-to-speak- list.

"I AM SAKURA, HS-327. A WONDER OF MY KIND. WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME TO GO BACK TO MY MASTER?!"

Although the robot lady, now known as Sakura, had pretty much screamed everything into his ear, Sasuke was deaf to it. His eyes, heart, mind, body and soul was trained on the 2 holes Sakura's legs had made. It was too devastating for Sasuke to handle. All he had wanted to do today was to bake some cookies as per Itachi's request, and then sleep.

That was all.

Was it really too much to ask?

Apparently it was, as Sasuke's phone began to ring in his pocket.

The vibration pulled Sasuke out of his trance as he reached down his pants to answer the phone, all the while ignoring the pink haired robot banshee screaming away her worth at him.

"Hello?" Sasuke spoke into the phone.

"Otooto," Came Itachi's pleasant voice through the other end of the conversation. " How are the cookies coming along?"

Cookies?

Oh right, Itachi's stupid cookies. AND THAT ROBOT LADY -

"I'm not gonna make your stupid cookies! Get your stupid machine out of my house!" Sasuke roared into the phone as anger finally caught up to him.

To make his already horrible mood worse, Itachi chuckled. "Is my Sakura really that bad?"

Sasuke knew that whatever answer he provided to Itachi would only serve as ammo for incoming insults, Sasuke refused to answer his brother's question. "Come to my house in 5 minutes or I'm going to destroy this machine of yours."

"I AM NOT A MACHINE. I AM SAKURA, HS-327 -A WONDER OF MY KIND YOU STUPID HUMAN! HAVE YOU NOT BEEN HEARING ME SPEAK -"

"I understand Otooto," Itachi gravely said after hearing Sakura spew non-sense out of her mouth. "I will see you in 5."

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 **So this story was inspired by some weird plot I got about a robot with an attitude and baking cookies. On a side note, I will be updating MS on Sunday/Monday! Be on a look out for it x)**

 **Fav/review**

 **Inked**


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